Review:
'DOERMAN, CHRIS'
'NOBODY'S PERFECT'
- Label: 'SELF RELEASED'
- Genre: 'Rock'
- Release Date: '2004'
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Our Rating:
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In anticipation of global domination, wary of flyboys out to make a quick buck on the back of his name and future fame, and to avoid any confusion for his multitude of fans, Chris Doerman’s website greets you with the title: “the Official Chris Doerman homepage”.
In the daytime Chris is project manager at a Cincinnati multimedia marketing company but after work he really wants to be a working man’s roots rocking bluesman and play guitar like Stevie Ray Vaughan with a bit of Bon Jovi and some soft acoustic for the ‘laydeez’. Judging by his lyrics and song-titles (e.g. ‘Parting’ and ‘She Goes’) Chris is struggling to keep hold of a lady. He should concentrate on promotion at work rather than music to improve his chances.
Chris can’t sing for toffee or for any other soft chewy sweet. On ‘Lady’s Dream’ Chris strains like he’s on the khazi, manfully attempting to kick start a severely delayed bowel movement. In trying to emulate Joe Cocker’s sandpaper growl he’s overlooked the basic requirement of actually hitting the right notes. With ‘She Goes’ I think Chris believed he was singing over a completely different backing track. Some of his guitar and piano work evokes the 'unique' style perfected by the late Les Dawson.
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There are plus sides to Chris’ music.
Tum-te-tum.
Oh sorry, do you want to know what they are?
Chris mentions that he’d like to produce for others and on that basis he may get somewhere. He’s produced ‘Nobody’s Perfect’ himself and made a pretty good job of it. The one instrumental (‘The Ice Storm’) is, in all fairness, very good with excellent acoustic guitar and organ. When he sticks to the rockier stuff he’s on safer ground but it’s not enough to save the album.
On ‘Bye-Gones’ Chris sings: “I like to think I’m an enigma at heart”. Not really Chris, not really.
www.chrisdoerman.com (It's official!)
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author: Different Drum
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READERS COMMENTS
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In the daytime, Different Drum is reviewer at one of the thousands of wannabe music sites that litter web, guaranteeing to you bring music fans “the real deal” – but after work he really wants to be an arrogant amateur comedian and make pseudo-intellectual references to remind everyone that the alphanumeric keypad is mightier than the objective ear (it surely helps him to score with the ‘cyber-laydeez’).
------------- Author: jackmonkey
15 August 2005
Judging by his self-gratifying humor and his deadly fear of using commas in the second paragraph of his reviews, Drum is struggling to keep hold of an ego or possibly his own failed musical career. He should concentrate on objective music reviews with a splash of humor rather than being the star of soon-to-be-cancelled sitcom - ahem - I mean "music review".
There are plus sides to Drum's writings.
------------- Author: jackmonkey
15 August 2005
Dum-de-dum.
Oh sorry, do you want to know what they are? (Damn! I am a clever little boy, aren't I? I'm just “off-the-hook” funny!)
------------- Author: jackmonkey
15 August 2005
Drum’s written this short comedy skit himself (most likely with only one hand on the keyboard at any given moment) and made a pretty good job of it. The one objective comment he made is, in all fairness, very nice with excellent non-pretentious/self-gratifying wording and thought. When he sticks to the "music review" stuff he’s on safer ground, but it comes too late in his musings and is not enough to save the review.
------------- Author: jackmonkey
15 August 2005
------------- Author: jackmonkey
15 August 2005
I normally don't bother answering the reader's comments, because everyone's more than entitled to their opinion, but Jack Monkey - you needed FIVE separate attempts to slag off one of our writers? Couldn't you have spent the time more wisely checking out the rest of our "wannabe" music site? Perhaps you'd find that a lot of the reviews are actually very positive. A lot of Different Drum's, in fact, if you could have been bothered to find out.
------------- Author: Tim Peacock
15 August 2005
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