In a world where my impressions of heavy metal are informed as much, if not more, by Spinal Tap as by the output of the ‘real’ bands themselves, it’s with a broad and wry grin that I greet the arrival of a couple of MOTLEY CRUE CDs: a greatest hits album and a new single.
Initially my thoughts return to their 1987 mega hit ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’, its then risqué lyrics so tame in comparison to today’s ‘in your face’ outpourings from the world of hip hop and rap, of their drummer’s more recent DTV related shenanigans with his ex-missus, one Pamela Anderson, and most bizarrely of an interview with Alexei Sayle on The Tube, the agit-comedian relentlessly taking the piss and the band remaining completely oblivious to the fact.
The name MOTLEY CRUE has become synonymous with the kind of act whose reputation is built more on the extra-curricular activities of its band members than for any music they may have managed to produce, each successive release being just an excuse for the tabloid press to reprint and rehash all the old myths and perhaps the occasional truth: all of which leads me to wondering how many members of the band have died over the years and, more importantly, whether or not they still disport ridiculous poodle perms for haircuts.
So it’s to the band’s biography that I turn and discover it was in fact Nikki Sixx, the band’s main songwriter and bassist who died of a heroin overdose in 1989. He was, however, brought back to life with adrenaline just in time to enjoy the band’s career peaks in the early 90s and is still (ah, ah, ah, ah) staying alive to this day. It transpires that it’s the friends and associates of MOTLEY CRUE who have a tendency to meet their maker, including Hanoi Rock’s drummer Razzle who died in a car crash which CRUE vocalist Vince Neil somehow managed to survive.
As for the hairstyles, the individual photographs of the four band members that accompany their new single ‘If I Die Tomorrow’ show that the ridiculous bouffants have been pensioned off by at least three of them with just Nikki Sixx defiantly resisting the call to bring his sartorial inclinations in line with the 21st Century. The black and white portraits are evidently designed to capture some sense of immortality and legend but in reality look like nothing more than monochrome pictures of ageing rock stars. To be fair Tommy Lee is in far too fine shape given the copious amounts of drink and drugs he’s allegedly imbibed down the years.
The ‘If I Die Tomorrow’ single is the obligatory solitary new recording to accompany a greatest hits package entitled ‘Red, White and Crue’, yet another cash-in for a band long past its prime – if indeed it ever had one - and who must surely only be in it for the money these days. Hidden in the marketing and hype possibly lurks a desire to reclaim the past and to find a place in music rather than tabloid history; an urge to put the music output somewhere alongside G’N’R and Bon Jovi, bands who have enjoyed far greater acknowledgement of their artistic endeavours and who – so the bio claims – owe their existence to the CRUE.
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Ultimately though it’s about protecting the brand: MOTLEY CRUE is a company on which Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Vince Neil and Mick Mars convene as its board of directors, meeting once in a while to discuss the next sales push before returning to their solo recreational and commercial ventures.
The single is standard metal fodder and its hackneyed sentiment of counting your blessings and being thankful for what you have today is in keeping with the pantomime notoriety that has become the band’s currency. There’s a nice line in Led Zep riffing at the tracks most meagre points of metal reference but the vast remainder of the song lurches into a heavyhanded strangulated cod-balladry that will no doubt serve as a catalyst for the lighters to be held aloft when the CRUE cruise into town later this year for a “reunion/farewell” tour.
The Greatest Hits package fairs little better other than to remind you that old metal was far less angst-ridden than it is today having now been sequestered by all manner of sub-genres and cross-over styles to the point that few talk about Metal in terms of Heavy these days. Despite the well-documented sinful lives of the CRUE there’s almost a naivety to old tracks like ‘Too Young To Fall In Love’, ‘Kickstart My Heart’ and ‘Home Sweet Home’.
It’s still shit mind you.
For all of Heavy Metal’s portentous noises much of the CRUE’s back catalogue deals with the same topics that have driven men to make popular music since Presley swung those hips: love, lust, fast girls, fast cars, sex and above all, having a good time all the time. There were just too many parties going on to have the time let alone the inclination to be depressed or feel repressed.
When, where and why did Metal become so glum?
Thus whilst these songs offer little in the way of depth or subtlety and indeed quality it’s easy to see the escapist appeal of a band who in their heyday reflected the mindset of America at the time: namely, we’re not interested in what’s happening outside of our own fantasy world so why should you be.
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