Well, well, well, what do we have here. Until very recently, my musical knowledge of KELLY OSBOURNE was at the fairly respectable level of nil. And if truth be told, I was quite happy with that particular little arrangement.
But as I'm sure you all know, this reviewing malarky isn't all about getting promo copies of the latest cutting edge sounds, and then delivering our heartfelt comments to you lot. No, unfortunately, sometimes we've got to listen to drivel like this.
Unless you've been living in a cave for the last few years, you'll be well aware who this particular Kelly Osbourne is. Making her public name as the loud-mouthed, profane and obnoxious teenage daughter of Ozzy and Sharon, it seems Ms Osbourne now fancies herself as a bit of a diva. The words 'ideas' and station' instantly spring to mind.
Following on from her 2002 debut, “Shut Up” (later re-packaged and re-named, and released a year later with extra live tracks as, “Changes”), “Sleeping In The Nothing” is the second album from Osbourne. With any luck dear reader, this might, just, be her last.
While her debut tried to cash in on the American pop/punk sound of Blink 182 and Sum 41 et al., that was peaking at the time, 'Sleeping In The Nothing' harks back to the electrofied, new wave sound of the mid 80's.
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Opener 'One Word' is, for all intent and purposes, a bastardised version of the Visage classic 'Fade To Grey', with a Eurovision-like chorus thrown in for good measure. 'Secret Lover', 'Edge Of Your Atmosphere' and 'Suburbia' all manage to fall into much the same territory.
The guitar rock format is brought back for a handful of the tracks. None, though, of any meaning or substance.
'Uh Oh' is as bad as the title suggests; 'I Can't Wait' is at best contrived; and although the lyrical content of 'Don't Touch Me' (which if you push me on it, is the best track on show here) bravely tackles the issue of date-rape, the cringe factor is still firmly stuck at 10. Sample lyric: “The moral of the story to make myself clear, Is that all you rapist assholes better run with fear.” 'The Boiler', it ain't.
Not to mention the fact that Osbourne has agreed to a, get this, 'clean' version of the album; with all the naughty, sweary words removed. Says it all, really.
Music for children, and shopping centres. Avoid.
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