Impressing members of the opposite sex can lead to a minefield capable of destroying all but the hardest and most robust of constitution out there. Take your lily-livered reviewer, for example. Once, he was so desperate to win over one lady that he bought a Valentine card featuring a tooled-up gangster and a message reading "You won't be receiving any more Valentine Cards this year, I've wiped out the opposition." It briefly had the desired effect, as your correspondent did briefly step out with said female before she moved on to pastures new, leaving your hapless hack to dejectedly wonder where he went wrong.
But hey, shit happens, right? It's a world ready to deal out hard knocks at the drop of a hat and only the foolish retain illusions of faint heart winning fair lady. It's clearly a lesson that Australian singer/ songwriter DAVID McCORMACK has learnt the hard way. His fabulous new album with cohorts THE POLAROIDS is called "The Truth About Love". The cover features a big, fuck off meat cleaver and songs with titles like "I'm Gonna Execute Yr Ex-Boyfriend" and "If You Ever Leave Me (I'm Gonna Hunt You Down And Kill You)." Sweet. The dating agencies are no doubt rubbing their hands with glee as I write.
But for all the superficial darkness and menace, your reviewer gets the feeling Dave is something of an old romantic underneath it all. And boy, where swashbuckling pop albums featuring dynamite, widescreen tunes of love, loss and skullduggery are concerned, "The Truth About Love" takes some beating. Probably literally.
McCormack forged a reputation with the successful Custard during the 1990s, but this is the first time your correspondent has come across him with The Polaroids in tow. And he sincerely hopes it won't be the past, as they play with both swagger and economy to spare in the best Attractions tradition. They also clearly bring out the best in McCormack's songwriting abilities as virtually everything here sounds terrific: not to mention supremely confident.
After all, few people would have the gall and belief to open their album with a showstopping, string-kissed opener like "The Truth About Love" itself. It's a smouldering, Pulp-esque epic with a fabulously mordant chorus ("It comes out of a can of poison in the water and you're drinking all the time") that can't fail to raise your pulse. It's not the only time they dare to employ strings to devastating effect, either: check the record's magnificent centrepiece, "Liquor Store", where - in best Greg Dulli tradition - love becomes a duel between the heart, a can of petrol and a box of matches and the pay-off is truly thrilling.
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Not that The Polaroids need to employ outside help to make a point. Indeed, they can often say it without frills and flowers on great songs like "Woolloomooloo Sunset" where the guitars are coyly descriptive, the "Why don't we stick together?" chorus is an earworm and a half and the band play it simultaneously cool and taut. Every bit as strong, meanwhile, are "Who Could You Love?" and the immortal "I'm Going To Execute Yr Ex-Boyfriend". The former is strident, no-nonsense pop at its' old-fashioned best with a swagger in its' gait and a stirring in its' loins, while "...Boyfriend" is a full-blown belter with massive drums, a fruity Ray Manzarek-style organ solo and a super-suave vocal from McCormack.
Admittedly, the album's second half is rather more introspective, though no less captivating. "Lonely" and the sparse, experience-fuelled "You Are Over Me" are both tinged with Country trappings and could easily give the likes of Ryan Adams a run for their money, while "Up The Pass" marries more diablo-infused thrills and hipshakin' rhythms with loops and low-key electronica and "Goodbye From Tomorrow" is a break-up blues caressed by strings and a fatalism that even Bill Callahan would approve of.
But really "The Truth About Love" is a black-hearted killer of an album from start to finish. David McCormack and The Polaroids are dark, charismatic, seedy, inspirational and a whole lot more rolled into one fantastic package. Somehow, I doubt getting the girl and simultaneously killing the baddies would pose a problem for these talented and super-charismatic rogues. Damn and blast them.
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