A free show with a line-up like this proved an irresistible draw to loads of people many of whom I appeared to know, and what a perfect way to start another years gigging.
We got in reasonably early, a little before 8.pm and the place was already rammed and more than up for it when Andrew O'Neill took to the Microphone to compere the evening and to give us a little bit of his stand-up routine where he pointed out how we were the right sort of cunts to be performing for. Glad to hear it, mate.
Soon enough it was time for the first band of the evening the ever so obtusely named ART TRIP & THE STATIC SOUND. Well seeing as they featured Tony who used to be Th' Faith Healers' manager on lead guitar and the mother of two members of Skinny Girl Riot was singing it wasn't that much of a surprise that they sounded like Th' Faith Healers meeting Jesus and Mary Chain and arguing over any My Bloody Valentine song you like. The opener You're Not! or whatever it was called had some great droning riffs that repeated and repeated on us.
Darker did the same again and was a very similar tune to the first one, but they were starting to build and build the songs like they knew the pressure was on them to up their game a bit. It was hard to see them as it was so packed but they were making a fine old noise on Witches that could have been based on a Band of Susans song.
Tight Skirt and Hassle both followed the same pattern as the rest of the band's material and was doing enough to keep the attention of most of the audience. But it was the penultimate song of the set that was the song that grabbed me and I admit it was mainly for being called Anarcho On Mothercare, but it also conjured up such great imagery and also had some cool droning riffery to it as well. They finished with Machine Gun and, no, it's not that song but what sounded like one of the band's own. Not a bad set at all but not quite as good as Skinny Girl Riot where when I saw them last year.
Andrew came back up to introduce us to SCANT REGARD which is Will Crewsdon's current solo project when he isn't playing guitar for Adam and the Ants, Celine Dion or Rachel Stamp etc etc. And by solo we do mean he was by himself playing guitar and effects/programmed backings on a laptop.
Most of his set was comprised tunes off Burnt Pop Cycles and Burl Ives' Ghost and he opened with a tune that was like listening to Duane Eddy meeting a drum and bass producer. He was going to make sure we all started moving, as the set progressed and the programmed parts veered between drum and bass and glitchcore break beats, Will's guitar went from Duane Eddy to Hendrix via Link Wray and Mick Ronson. Unlike some other solo guitarists I've seen this wasn't just an excuse to stand wanking at the fret board while being worshipped. Very refreshing.
Even on the one tune that Will sang, the voice was incidental to the guitar parts he was playing. This was a cool set that more than worked on its own terms.
After another introduction by Andrew it was time for a short routine by PETER BUCKLEY HILL who is one of those comedians I seem to see play once every decade or so, never remembering I've seen him till he does the Armadillo Song once more which was the highlight of this set. For anyone who hasn't seen him he does song-based comedy some of which is very funny and some of which frankly missed the mark. The biggest offender in the latter category was the number he finished on that was actually more embarrassing now than when I saw him do it about 20 years ago. Still, not bad for an old bloke of 64.
Soon enough it was time for THE MEN THAT WILL NOT BE BLAMED FOR NOTHING to come on, and while I could barely see the stage or anyone on it I could certainly hear as they opened with The Great Stink, the band's ode to the marvels that Thomas Bazalgette brought to our city, although the band's brand of Steam Punk doesn't stink in the same way that London used to. They sounded as good as ever and Andy Heintz vocals were as devilish as needed as they careened into Charlie.
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Soon enough it was time for Victoria's Secret which saw the first blast of growled vocals from Andrew O'Neil as they sang about Zombie Albert. They then tied the band's flag to the pole for Doing It For the Whigs, which as the coalition continues becomes more and more poignant as we need to have the real Whigs back and not the Tory lickspittles of the Lib Dems.
Still it was time to jump in the Charabanc and head down to Margate to see if we can eat some rock while paddling and avoid the Margate Fhtagn because we all know Cthulu comes from Kent and Jez Miller's tribal drumming was the perfect counterpoint in the death metal sections of the song to Andrew O'Neill's growled vocals.
At least they had managed to keep Marc Burrows out of Bedlam long enough to be able to get us all going on Bedlam: a paean to that most woebegone Victorian institution which is the sort of place you end up if you don't take the advice you find in The Peoples Common Sense Medical Advisor and make sure you don't wank too much as we all know it is the route of all evil.
Now if I can only take a trip to the Moon everything will be okay: a marvellous sci-fi epic to get us ready to celebrate the life of Boilerplate Daniel; a song guaranteed to get the mosh pit going even when there is no room to dance.
Time to marvel at the good old Tesla Coil and its many uses and they certainly find some fine uses in this song. Things then took a turn for the worse with Blood Red and Mutiny In the Common Soldiery: two songs about the futility of war and the way the toffs send off the poor to die for what exactly.
They closed the main set with Goggles,the song to celebrate working women in (yeah) goggles and an anthem for most of the bands fans. They didn't go off stage before the encore as there was no room to move, rendering such an action redundant.
The encore began with a great version of A Traditional Victorian Men's Boasting Song which was played at breakneck speed and I think Andy Heintz just about managed to get all the words out in time. After which most of us were singing along to the single Brunel and it's always good to have a chant of "Isambard Kingdom Brunel!"
They then did Jesus Was A Cockney and as they were playing it not more than 100 yards from where his Brother Joseph of Aramathea is meant to have met with Boudicca according to no lesser expert than Sun Ra in his Space Is The Place film this song seemed all the more believable and blasphemous at the same time. This just left them with time for a quick run through Etiquette with its sing along chorus of "Manners Maketh The man."
A damn fine ending to a very good first gig of the year. Hello 2013!
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